


Return Again

by StarbucksSue



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 18:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarbucksSue/pseuds/StarbucksSue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing people has always been his Achilles heel, but when it’s a member of his team - his family - and his best friend to boot, it’s not something John Sheppard accepts easily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Return Again

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SGA Fan for the Sheppard H/C 2013 Winter Fic Exchange on LiveJournal.

_It is the secret of the world that all things subsist and do not die, but only retire a little from sight and afterwards return again - Ralph Waldo Emerson_

 

The peace lasted for all of seven minutes. After that, all hell broke loose.

P4X-692 was described in the Ancient database as a viable trading partner due to the very fertile soil on the planet and was listed as supplying basic foodstuffs such as grains and vegetables. The Pegasus Galaxy had seen many changes over the years, and many of the civilizations the Ancients had traded with were no longer around. However, it sounded like the planet had a reasonable climate for growing crops, and Sam had been optimistic that if the planet was colonized they would be able to negotiate a trade agreement.

The Stargate was located in a small clearing within a forest. John was immediately on his guard as there were just too many places where people could hide and ambush them. He looked over at Ronon and could see that the warrior was thinking exactly the same thing.

Ronon was already moving forward, with Teyla close behind him. John waited for Rodney to follow and brought up the rear, keeping a careful eye on the forest behind him.

“You know I don’t like this very much,” Rodney grumbled. “Why would they allow the trees to grow so closely to the Stargate? It doesn’t seem very safe, and there’re all sorts of insects flying around. With my allergies the last thing I need is to get bitten by some kind of poisonous insect.”

John rolled his eyes at the complaints, despite being in agreement about the location of the Stargate.

“So just keep your voice down and look where you’re going,” John replied. “Although if anyone is hiding in the trees, I think you were loud enough to announce our presence if the opening of the Stargate didn’t already give the game away.”

“Yes, yes, as if I’m louder than a Stargate in operation. If they had sentries on watch, they would know we’re here regardless of how much noise we were making,” Rodney replied.

They hadn’t got much further when the peace was shattered. Small darts and arrows came at them from all directions and, despite their best intentions, John realized that they were surrounded; the only option would be to stand and fight.

“Damn it,” John muttered as he ducked a flying arrow and raised his P90 in the direction of the archer. “McKay, get down,” he yelled as Rodney stood suddenly in reaction to eight men running out of the trees towards them.

Ronon’s blaster went off at the same time as John’s P90 spat fire; it wasn’t enough to take out all of the men though, and all it took was one short hesitation on Rodney’s part for one of the men to draw close enough to throw his knife.

John saw the knife spin in slow motion. He threw himself forward trying to intercept the missile, but another of the men barreled into him, and they both went down. John heard as well as felt his arm crack and gasped at the sudden pain. It wasn’t enough to stop him fighting though, and he quickly got the man on top of him into position to snap his neck before pushing the dead weight off him and running towards the man looming over Rodney who was prone on the ground. Drawing his hand gun he quickly dispatched the man and dropped to Rodney’s side.

“McKay. Rodney. Are you with me buddy?” He pressed his hands over the wound in Rodney’s side, despite knowing that it was futile; Rodney had lost too much blood already. Blue eyes opened, and John could see they were already dimming. Rodney’s hand came up and grasped John’s wrist loosely, and to John’s astonishment, Rodney smiled before opening his mouth to speak. John leaned down so he didn’t miss what Rodney said.

“Clear blue skies, John. Clear blue skies.” And with that, Rodney’s hand loosened and dropped, the light went out of his eyes, and he stopped breathing. A moment later a light glowed around his body before rising up and away, tentacles waving as it got smaller and smaller before disappearing above the trees. John was left alone with the body of his friend, his hands still resting on Rodney’s side. Cold and numb, he sat there completely unaware of the fact that the remaining men had either been run off or killed. Then anger took over, and he rose to his feet mindless of his broken arm and roared, pulling his arm back to aim at the nearest tree.

“Sheppard. No.” Ronon moved quickly and grabbed him before he could slam his hand into the tree. “Harming yourself isn’t going to get us out of here, and he deserves to be taken back to Atlantis before they come back with reinforcements.”

John struggled for a moment before giving up, the adrenaline fading from his body as he tried to calm himself. He slid to the ground and pulled his legs up to his chest, staring at the body of his friend and forcing himself to push all the emotions into a box. It was much harder than any other time he’d had to do this. Rodney was a good friend, probably his oldest friend now, and John was just not ready to lose him. Stilling himself and forcing himself to breathe deeply and calmly he finally looked up at Ronon still standing staring at him.

“I’m fine,” he said, pushing himself to his feet. “What happened to Teyla?”

“The last two ran off so she’s just checking they’re gone and making sure they don’t come back,” Ronon replied. “Come on, can you manage his stuff with your arm? I can carry McKay.” Without waiting for an answer, Ronon turned and picked Rodney up carefully, carrying him over his shoulder. John just stared, his emotions still in turmoil, before turning and picking up Rodney’s backpack and slinging it over his good shoulder.

Teyla came back a moment later, eyes full of sadness as she gazed upon the still figure over Ronon’s shoulder.

“They are gone. It is safe for us to return to Atlantis,” she said softly.

They turned and trudged back to the Stargate in silence; words were not needed, if indeed there were any words which could express exactly how they felt.

*** 

John ran. He turned another corner not really knowing where he was just knowing he had to keep going. The punishing pace was painful, but the physical pain was easier to deal with than the emotional pain.

It had been three weeks. Three weeks since Rodney had died and ascended. Three weeks since John had been haunting the corridors of Atlantis. He’d been taken off active duty immediately on his return, and the team was on stand down. He avoided the infirmary apart from when he was ordered to report for a checkup but, to Sam’s surprise, kept up the mandatory counseling sessions with Harry Mason, Heightmeyer’s replacement. Sam insisted he meet with her on a regular basis, and although he didn’t say much, he did listen to Sam recount her experiences of ascension. Of course, being on a team with Daniel Jackson, Sam had plenty of experience with that particular subject. Once the stitches came out and he was more mobile, he was constantly running, running until he was exhausted, pushing himself so that when he did finally make it to bed he was hopefully too tired to dream. His arm was still in plaster, but it didn’t slow him down. He wouldn’t let anyone sign the cast though; if asked, he couldn’t have explained why.

The dreams were still there though. The last moment of Rodney’s life was etched into John’s memory, and Rodney’s voice murmuring ‘clear blue skies John, clear blue skies’ repeated like a litany in his head.

He avoided all the usual routes he took with Ronon, preferring out of the way corridors in abandoned towers or out on the piers where the harsh wind of the Lantean winter numbed his whole body for a while. He pulled away from Ronon and Teyla, not wanting to talk to anyone.

The further he distanced himself from the people around him the more he seemed to sense Atlantis. Formerly just a mental hum at the back of his consciousness, his link to the City seemed to increase. Today was no exception, and John felt that the City was actually leading him, soft nudges in his head to suggest he turn left, or right, or go up or down stairways he passed.

As he entered a new section of corridor in the base of one of the towers, he was startled as the doors at both ends of the section suddenly closed. Reaching up for his radio, he discovered it wasn’t working. He stopped and returned to the door behind him, thinking it open while passing his hand over the door release. Nothing happened.

Turning and looking down the corridor, he noticed several doors leading off it. The feeling that the City had led him to this place increased and he walked slowly towards the first door. Finding it locked he moved on to the second. It was only as he got to the fourth door that it opened automatically as he approached. Tentatively stepping forward, he poked his head into the room. At first, he saw nothing but a dark empty lab. But as he moved forward and the lights started to come up, he realized there was someone huddled, naked, in the corner.

Not wanting to get his hopes up, but recognizing Rodney’s familiar figure, he dropped to his knees before the shaking man.

“Rodney?” he queried softly, his voice rough with disuse. “Are you with me buddy?”

Clear blue eyes looked up from where they were buried in the arms resting on the drawn up knees. Confusion and fear filled the eyes; there was no recognition and John’s heart sank, remembering that Daniel Jackson had no memory of his team or his world the first time he had descended.

“Who are you, and where am I?” Rodney asked. “Who am I for that matter? I don’t even know who I am.” Terror filled his eyes and John hastened to reassure him.

“You’re Doctor Rodney McKay and you’re on the City of Atlantis, your home. I’m John Sheppard, your friend.”

Rodney frowned. “You’re my friend? You don’t seem like the kind of person I would have as a friend. You look like you’re military and I’m a doctor. I’m pretty sure the two don’t usually become friends.” He broke off an looked at John, a dubious expression on his face. “Did you say Atlantis…the lost city? Where exactly are we?”

“To answer your questions in order, firstly, you’re a scientist, not a medical doctor. We work together; you’re on my team. We’ve been friends for around four years,” John explained. “The City of Atlantis is in the Pegasus Galaxy, far from the Milky Way. We travelled from Earth a few years ago when we discovered where Atlantis was. Well that’s the simple explanation, I can get one of your science team to explain it in better detail later.”

“What happened to me?” Rodney asked.

John swallowed hard, not wanting to remember even with Rodney safe and well in front of him.

“We ran into some trouble offworld. You were stabbed and you bled out, because we couldn’t get to you quickly enough. You...ascended,” he broke off and steadied his breathing. “Just before you died you grabbed my arm and said ‘clear blue skies, John, clear blue skies’.”

Rodney frowned. “That sounds…right, familiar even. Why would I say that?”

“Last year, you activated an Ancient device and got special powers, but they were killing you and the only way we thought you could be saved was for you to ascend. ‘Clear blue skies’ was what you kept repeating to try and clear your mind. You almost made it, but at the last minute you worked out what Carson needed to do to save you, and it worked.”

Rodney stared at him with such intensity that John had to drop his gaze.

“You know, the more I talk to you the more familiar you seem,” Rodney said slowly.

“Yeah, I understand it can be like that. One of the members of SG1 has ascended a couple of times; once he came back with no memory at first, the other time he still had his memories. I guess the memories will come back slowly,” John explained, hoping that it was the case.

“Hmm, I hope so. There are things drifting right on the edge of my memory, but I just can’t pin them down. I don’t particularly like not having any clothes on either. Why isn’t there anyone else around? Not that I’m complaining, believe me. I’m glad no-one else is around to see me like this,” Rodney confessed.

John laughed, glad that Rodney was sounding more and more like the man he knew.

“Come on then, let’s get you to the infirmary. Keller will want to check you over.” John stood and slipped off his sweatpants. “Here, you can wear these. I’ll be fine in my boxers. There’s a transporter not far from here and we can go straight to the infirmary.”

John called Sam on the way to the infirmary, and it wasn’t long before she, Teyla, Ronon and Zelenka were all waiting anxiously with John as Rodney was scanned and examined. John felt the tension release slightly as the familiar sounds of Rodney complaining about the number of needles and the amount of blood being taken from him. Despite the sketchy memories, Rodney still seemed to be himself, and John was relieved. Examinations over, Rodney was faced with a barrage of questions from his colleagues, and John stood to the back of the group simply soaking in the sight of his friends all safe where they belonged. Rodney remembered nothing of the three weeks as an ascended being, but Sam reassured him that it was par for the course. As for his memories of his life and Atlantis, they trickled back slowly at first, speeding up as he talked to his audience, the familiar teasing and bantering a balm for John’s soul.

Finally, Rodney was released and after returning to his quarters for a quick shower and some clothes, they met up again in the mess, grabbed some food and retired to one of the rec rooms for a team movie night, where Rodney produced a Sharpie and insisted on signing John’s cast.

Much later, after the food was gone and the team were on their second movie of the evening, John sat on the couch with Rodney sitting between him and Teyla, with Ronon stretched out in one of the overstuffed armchairs. Team night was something they had all missed over the past three weeks, but John wasn’t really taking much notice in the movie playing on the screen in front of him. He kept sneaking glances at Rodney, checking that his friend was really still there, despite the fact that they were sitting so close that he could feel every small movement Rodney made.

As if knowing that he was the subject of John’s attention, Rodney turned to him with a look of concern, the look so familiar that John felt the final knot of tension in his stomach relax. He grinned at Rodney, and Rodney relaxed and smiled back at him. John glanced around the room. These people were his team, his friends, the people he loved like family; and that would always remain, wherever they were and however far apart they became.


End file.
